Big Batch Frozen Piña Coladas

overhead view of a scattering of pina colada drinks, pineapples and tropical notes on a turquoise table

You’ll be the hottest host in town with this grown-up salve to a late-summer heat wave.

By Erin Henderson

When I was a kid, we vacationed every summer at a resort lodge in the Muskoka’s.

Paignton House could have rivalled the location for Dirty Dancing – a bucolic, idyllic, northern getaway for families looking for a little outdoorsy escape. But not too outdoorsy. We still had to “dress” for dinner, and after would take in nightly live shows – magicians, dancers, theatre troupes – all brought in to keep guests' entertained. During the day everything from arts and crafts to golf lessons kept us busy.  

One of the guest houses at Paignton House
One of the guest houses at Paignton House.
(those very well could be my parents in the foreground)

It was here, at the tender age of eight, I discovered the cooling magic of a sweet, frozen piña colada to ward of the relentless Ontario humidity. My dad gave us “signing powers” to order our own drinks at the bar, likely so we would leave him and my mum alone. I ordered dozens. And then a few dozen more. I don't know what hit harder: the ice cream headache or the sugar high right to the bloodstream.

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Of course, those versions, pulled straight from a blending machine, were sticky, sweet piles of slushie. Without alcohol, and heavy on the sugar and fake coconut flavour, it was everything a kid could want.

Fast forward a few years, and I’m still drinking piña coladas to beat the heat. But I’d like to think my adult version is much improved from those early kiddie treats.

In this recipe, we forgo ice in favour of frozen pineapple, to intensify, not waterdown, flavour. We add freshly squeezed lime and a splash of orange juice for a tangy balance against the creamy coconut. And, while we use mostly white rum, we give our cocktail some depth and complexity with a splash of aged rum.

I think little Erin would be very proud of me.

Big Batch Frozen Piña Coladas

We love big batch cocktail recipes that take the stress out of hosting. And this recipe is a workhorse, doing double, maybe even triple, duty: it can be made ahead of time, kept fresh in the freezer as long as a few days, and makes a good quantity to alleviate the tedium of mixing and stirring single drinks a la minute.  

Makes: Just over 5 cups
Bartender level: easy

Ingredients:
  • 600 g frozen pineapple
  • 1 cup cream of coconut
  • 1 cup white rum
  • ¼ cup dark rum
  • Juice of one lime
  • 2 oz freshly squeezed orange juice
How to Make It: 
  1. Into a high-speed blender, add the pineapple, cream of coconut, rums, lime and orange juice, and blend until smooth.
  2. Serve immediately, or keep in the freezer until ready to use.

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