Has Life-Maxxing Minimized Life-Living?

dramatic wine glass smash

We used to have fun.

by Erin Henderson

The famously acerbic Fran Lebowitz has said young people stop her in the street and ask her if life was better in New York in the 1970's. And she says, the nature of the question would suggest, yes, it was. Afterall, she says when she was in her 20's she never stopped old people to ask if life was better in the 1930's. 

I feel a bit like Fran. The red-hot popularity of Love Story has me fielding the occasional question about life in the 1990's. I was in my 20's (and early 30's) then, and while I distinctly remember being poor and the stress that comes with wondering how the rent will get paid, ultimately, I think of the decade fondly. 

Things have changed. In case you didn't notice. 

We've made staggering leaps in technology and science. We're objectively living longer. We're more educated and have more choice than ever before. 

Ah, but therein lies the rub. 

There's a lot of fancy terms for this, but I call it the Jean Machine problem. When I was growing up, spending my weekends at a suburban mall, as is the law for teenagers in mid-size cities, there was a very cool store called Jean Machine, that, as you might guess, sold jeans. All kinds of jeans: pants, skirts, jackets, shirts, headbands, hats, earrings. All colours, styles, and washes. It was not only a jean machine, but a teenage dream. 

There was only one problem: there was so much denim, I usually left overwhelmed and without buying anything. 

To translate the Jean Machine problem into today's parlance, we have so many options at our disposal: Oura Rings, Whoops, Fitbits, apps, glucose monitors... essentially a bunch of... stuff... designed to keep track of our sleep, sugar, stress, cortisol, protein, steps, calories, all in an effort to make us fitter, stronger, faster. 

And duller. 

As we optimize for wellness, we've turned into obsessive robots fretting over every minute of REM and gram of fibre. In search of balance, we’ve tripped into austerity.

I’m not arguing we should throw out the Apple Watch with Smart Water, but maybe, just maybe, go have a drink with some friends? (You can run there with a weighted vest if this idea gives you anxiety. Plank in between rounds, if you want.)

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I’m lucky enough that my work brings me to Europe quite a bit. And every time I’m there, the first few days are a pleasant culture shock. Having lunch, in any country, there’s wine on every table. Every table. From the mums bringing their kids from school to suit-clad office employees, to construction workers. No one’s getting smashed. No one’s giggling about “being bad;” it’s not even a consideration, a glass of wine with lunch just… is. I’ve even seen very, very old people pour wine into their glass and with a trembling hand splash in a little water.

And did you catch that? It’s subtle. Everyone, while having lunch and a glass of wine, were having it together. All the guys on break from the construction site, the co-workers from the firm, the mothers with their kids… the very old people with their younger (but also old) children.

They weren't wringing their hands over their afternoon productivity slump or agonizing over the increase in their blood sugar. They were having a laugh, a conversation, living their lives through connection and socialization. 

Wine, conviviality, and merriment. I think the very old people would tell you that’s the key to longevity-maxxing.

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